konfessions of the Koog

Ah, it’s good to be back home in North Wales. Woke up pretty late this morning courtesy of the very useful blackout drapes at the cottage we rented in Llanberis. This place is actually pretty awesome. With three bedrooms, each annoying teen has their own room and is much less prone to annoy each other because it would take too much effort to open the door and walk into the others room. For this level of laziness, we are thankful. As per usual, the fantastic Mrs. Koog made breakfast for us slugs. Eggs, crumpets and rashers. Still no glazed organ meat since London, though. (Thank God!) Both boys were up and ready roll after breakfast was done. We headed out to Dinorwic Quarry to do some exploration in the old mines and use this as sort of a test run for the Yr Wyddfa (Mt. Snowdon) hike tomorrow. In order to minimize the risk of totaling the car, Mrs. Koog has been doing most of the driving on the 6 inch wide curvy mountain roads. Remember, I drove through a whole ass hedge the last t...

Well, we lived through the hell hotel! You’ve never seen 4 people pack up and leave a hotel faster than the Family Koog left The Crown Hotel this morning. Bing, bang, boom…bags packed and loaded into the car. We left the place so fast it was like we robbed it! But of course we didn’t, who what want any of that crap? A quick stop at Waitrose to grab breakfast foods and we were off to North Wales. The place where my heart and soul reside. Now, I’ve driven from England to North Wales several times and was surprised when Mrs. Koog put the address of our cottage in Llanberis into Waze and we got a 4.5 hour eta. It was about 1 hour into the ride that she, out of no where mentions, “oh, we are going through all these back roads because I have it avoiding highways. B and I wanted to see the countryside so we asked to avoid highways from Brackley to Oxford and back yesterday.” I was unamused by this random piece of news. If I am in a car, chances are I am having motion sickness. This little...

Happy we didn’t see any bedbugs or get murdered in our sleep, E and I were up with the roosters and ready to head out to the bus for Silverstone at 5:15. I could tell it was a special day because I didn’t have to remind E-Koog to use deodorant! Christmas and the British Grand Prix are really special days for that kid. We’ve been waiting for this day since I was conned into buying ridiculously expensive tickets for this race in February. E is a chip off my old block when he used my own logic against me. “Brah, if we are going to do Silverstone, we need to do it on *the* race day. And if we are going to do it on Grand Prix day, we need get grandstand tickets. And if we are going to get grandstand tickets, we need Club A grandstand tickets. And if we are going to get grandstand tickets, brah, we need to get the inner track tickets. And what good are inner track passes if we don’t get he early entry fast pass gate tickets. Brah, we need to do it right, Brah.” Yes, I am his Brah and he is...

Well, it’s hard to believe we left home a week ago today. Time flies when in the UK, I guess! This morning we left the lovely Jasmine Cottage in Bourton-on-the-Water. We were up early as Mrs. K made breakfast in 4 waves hers, B-Koog’s, mine and E’s. I helped clean up the kitchen and pack up the food. To be fair, Mrs. K did the majority of the cleaning as well. This woman is amazing and we fools do not deserve the way we are pampered. I showered and packed as did the Mrs. and E. And then there is our B. He waited until the last possible moment to shower, dress and pack. This kid is very, um, unique and if testing patience was a sport he’d be an Olympian! E brought down all the bags and loaded them into the car for us. Once B was done with his leisurely shower and got himself ready he was “shocked” to know the car was packed. This kid was on our last nerve before 10am. Anyway, we said goodbye to Jasmine Cottage and headed down the street to Birdland. A request by the kids after see...

While North Wales is *the* most beautiful place in the world, The Cotswolds has to be a close second. We began our day at our Jasmine Cottage on Mousetrap Lane in Bourton-on-the-Water. Mrs. Koog was up early and walked to our local market to grab some eggs, bread and rashers for breakfast. I, of course, put my blackout mask on when the sun rose at 4:45 am and slept until she woke me up around 8:30. While I do love using the blackout mask, it is a danger to anyone that attempts to rouse me because I assume they are a killer and I take wild swings before taking the mask off. This morning was no different but since the Mrs. has long arms and 21 years of experience with me, she’s figured out a way to gently tap and swerve like a boxer to avoid blunt force trauma. God, I love that woman and her cat-like reflexes! Once I removed the blackout mask, apologized for the right hook and kissed her good morning; I headed downstairs and promptly got horizontal on the sofa and fell back asleep (wit...

It was our last morning at the Union Jack Club in London. With glazed lamb kidneys as yesterday’s breakfast special, I was so excited to see what today would hold at the breakfast buffet. Alas, it was Spanish omelets with chorizo. A pretty standard special and a signal that it was time to say, in the words of my beloved Taylor Swift, “So Long, London.” I had my usual cereal with mushrooms, baked beans and grilled tomato. The Union Jack club was a great place to stay but would not make my top 1000 places to have breakfast in London. We packed up our bags, checked out and grabbed out taxi using a snazzy gadget at the front desk where you push a button, it gives you a digital message like, “your taxi is on the way” and suddenly the taxi appears. It was literally less than 5 mins. Our driver, Alex, helped us Tetris our bags between the back of the cab where we were sitting and the front passenger seat. Unfortunately for me, I got the backward facing jump seat. It’s not about comfort, it’...

Since today is our last day in London, we decided to split up since each teen wanted to do a different thing but first breakfast. Again, it was not great but they did add a new item that, while intriguing, we all passed on tasting. Today’s special was “Glazed Lamb Kidneys.” Nothing says “Good Morning Britain” like a good glazed lamb kidney, am I right? Am I? I really don’t know because the look and smell of them were off putting. I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yums but dear God they looked gross. Opting out of my breakfast organ meat, I went for the same selection of oddities as yesterday except instead of coco puffs, I went for corn flakes. Honestly, I cannot wait to see what the special is tomorrow! What could top glazed lamb kidneys? I shutter to imagine. Anyway, as I said we were splitting the family today. It wasn’t so much what each kid wanted to do as much as it was what a kid DIDN’T want to do. The Mrs. and E were renting e-bikes to risk their lives riding in London traffic. B...

We slept in this morning after overstepping our step count yesterday at Camden Market. The eggs were still the cystic fried egg or the orange scrambled variety so I passed on those and opted for the baked beans, mushrooms, grilled tomato and coco puffs cereal. While I will admit it was an eclectic combination of items, they collectively hit the spot. Also, the coffee at the UJC must be an aquired taste and, since I won’t be here long enough to acquire that taste, I opted for tea. They have PG Tipps, one of my favorites. After my odd mix of breakfast items and my pretty good cuppa, we headed off to the London Science Museum. E-Koog was excited because we were led to believe there was an F1 exhibit. There was not. He had a good time anyway, I think. We were sharing the museum with all the children of London. Seriously, there were like 5000 kids in that place. All with reflective safety vests. It’s not like you could miss them because they were at least 100 decibels each. Oh, and not on...

5AM—Good Morning London! We are on a crazy sleep schedule now. At 5:15am B-Koog was warming the kettle and taking tea orders. We were all up by 7 and showered and downstairs for breakfast around 7:30. Breakfast at the UJC is an interesting experience. It’s sort of the food equivalent of “meant well.” There are fried eggs that look more like unlanced cysts than eggs. The scrambled eggs are the color of an unpopular president. I tried the orange eggs, the bacon rashers and my favorite British breakfast items, baked beans, mushrooms and grilled tomatoes. In the words of a E, “it’s mid.” That about sums it up. After our mid but fine breakfast we headed to Waterloo tube station on our way to Camden Town. For reasons unknown, we were in a hurry. Unfortunately, nothing really opens in Camden town until 10am. It was about 8:45am. We stopped at a chain coffee place with a bougie French name that I always forget so I refer to it as “the manger.” No, baby Jesus was not in yesterday morning. W...

Well, we are finally on our way back to the UK as a family! I love to early for a flight as I enjoy the Virgin 1st Class Clubhouse. Yes, I am a bougie snob but I’m also adorable. Unfortunately, the check-in desk for our flight didn’t open until 6:55 and we arrived at 5:45 and I should also mention I am the only member of the Family Koog that is flying Virgin Upper Class. Before I am judged let me explain. I offered, nee, begged Mrs. Koog to join me in my lay-flat-bed-and-free-pajama-oasis but she refused. I told her that while I respected her decision to go economy with the kids, I should not be punished for her poor choices, so 3 economy seats and 1 upper class for the Koog Family on this trip. Anyway, we waited our hour in line and enjoyed watching the passengers for Qatar Airlines come though the line with countless bags, boxes, suitcases and laundry baskets (no joke). I loved seeing the multigenerational families traveling together. Especially the little kids and grandparents. I ...