konfessions of the Koog

So, the Girlfriend and I have hit some bumps. Lately, I've been feeling a little taken for granted. I know that's a wuss thing to say, but it's true. The honeymoon is over. We don't see each other through the blissful filters and soft lighting that in the beginning made each of us look flawless. Now we're under harsh low-end department-store-like fluorescents that enhance even the most subtle blemishes and cause headaches until your eyes can adjust. In the beginning, the soft focus days, there were e-mails with things like "must do something other than think of you" and "you are always on my mind." Now, I'm lucky if I get complete sentences and a signature. I've never thought of myself as high maintenance, but maybe I am. Is it wrong to want a bit of the niceties back in our relationship? Am I wrong to want this? Am I wrong to feel shortchanged since I'm not getting it? Am I wrong to write about it publicly? I've always been ...

When I'm bored, I sometimes think of how things come to be defined. Like the word "sweet." Who decided what "sweet" was and who created the word? Does "sweet" taste different to me that it is to others? What is my threshold for "sweet" vs. "sour"? I was thinking of this as I drove to work this morning. The Girlfriend and I talked about love this morning. Where is the trip-switch for falling in love? At what point in a relationship do you really feel it? Is there a checklist of things a person has to do to be loved by the other? Is it more qualitative than quantitative? Can you make someone fall in love you? The popular answer is no, but is that really true? When we court and date and caress and compliment, isn't that making someone fall in love with you? Is love simultaneous? After all, you're both experiencing this relationship bliss at the same time, so why wouldn't love develop concurrently? Love is an emotion...

I took my dog swimming this weekend. It's strange to get so much pleasure watching him swim and play. He's truly the light of my life and makes my spirit come alive like few others can. I love him, without condition. I remember when I first got him. Actually, he was a gift from the Ex. We both agree that he was the best thing to happen to either of us. She was very supportive during the most horrible period of my life. I can't ever thank her enough for standing by me during that time. She gave so much during that time. All of it intangible. Except, of course, for my boy. Setting the Scene: I had just come off of a rough year. Cancer diagnosis, treatments, lost weight, lost hope, lost job and frankly, just plain lost. As I sit here writing and reminiscing , I have a hard time recognizing that person with the broken spirit. Mending my spirit was very difficult for me. At 25, I faced my own mortality and the fear associated with that shook me to my core. According to the do...

I've been reading CNN.com obsessively to get the latest on the disaster in NOLA, MS, AL and FLA. Seeing the images of the souls that were lost and those that are left behind fighting to survive is traumatizing even though I am lucky enough to not have any friends or family in harms way. All we can do is watch and support the men and women working to help those suffering in Katrina's wake. Please consider donating to the Red Cross to help in the rescue, recovery and rebuilding efforts. Click here to contribute: https://www.redcross.org/donate/donation-form.asp When I go home tonight I will hug my Girlfriend and my dog , smile at my neighbors, call my Mother and thank God for the roof over my head and the safety of those I love. To my loyal readers: Look around you and appreciate what you have and who you have. Hug your family, friends and pets and never forget how fragile life is.