konfessions of the Koog

A lot has happened since I last blogged. I’ve been to Europe and Southeast Asia for work, I nearly burned down my fence grilling shrimp kabobs on my charcoal grill and…let me think, I know there is something else…oh yeah, the Girlfriend moved in with me. I know, I know; “Koog, this is huge! How could you nearly forget to mention that?” Fans calm down…I was just kidding and it is huge, especially for a commitment-phobe like me. So, you may be asking, “Koog, how did this happen?” Well, let me tell you. We have had a long running debate about our living status for quite some time. I think I posted earlier that we were cohabitating between two different domiciles. It worked well for a while, as the one place was close to both of our work locations and the other place was more of a larger, country home. But, in the end, it was taxing and expensive to keep up 2 mortgages and try to balance time at both places. Not to mention that if we’re going to do the whole double-ring-swap thing i...

I think this will be my last post for a while, I think I've lost my inspiration. The girlfriend and I may not make it. "Koog, what the hell happened?" you may ask. The answer is I'm not sure. The other night we were talking, and I broke my cardinal rule; I asked a question I didn't want to hear the answer to. I asked her if she loved me or if she was in love with me. After a pause that seemed like eternal silence, she looked at me with those eyes I know so well, and she didn't have to say a word. That eternal silence turned into an piercing tone that shattered my heart. I know, I know, Koog isn't that sensitive, but I am. After much consultation with friends and family that love us as individuals and as a couple, we come to the conclusion that it's semantics. We agree that we're better together, we love each other too much to walk away. She tells me she's happy, that she's made a mistake, all of the things I want to here, but it...

So, I’m in talking with my officemate, GZ, and she’s telling me about this wedding she must attend in April and she needs a date. This is causing her much stress, which leads to a very stressful workday for Koog. Ever since I’ve known GZ, which has been all of 4 months, she’s been looking for a companion. Now, she’s barking up the wrong tree asking me for dating advice. All of my friends are either married, too old or pervs. A select few are all of the above and I salute each and every one of you! OK, so back to GZ. She needs a date. Here are her criteria (in order of importance): 1. Must be hot. ( if you’re hot , married and pervy are fine) 2. Tall (no midgets will be considered at this time) 3. Witty (I’ve tried to tell her that I’m witty, but alas, I am too short) 4. Must have most, if not all teeth (white-ish is preferred) 5. Clothing is NOT optional (at the wedding, the after party is negotiable) If you’re interested, send an e-mail and a pic to koog.rules@gmail.com. Void wh...

So it’s 2006. My annual tradition of making and breaking New Year’s resolutions is in full swing. On New Year’s Eve, I resolved to: -Work out more (because I’m becoming increasingly porky) -Stop complaining about being coupled (when I’m secretly ecstatic about it) -Stop throwing my clothes on the floor -Clean out my closet to make more room for the Girlfriend’s stuff -Delete the myriad episodes of American Chopper from the Girlfriends TiVo -Give up “Good and Plenty” candy, cold turkey It’s the third week in January, and I have to say, I’m failing miserably on nearly all of my resolutions. I can’t even say, “I’ve tried,” because on some, I haven’t. OK, let’s do a re-cap of my status on each resolution: Work out more —this has already been broken, as I have actually worked out less in all of 2006 than I did in the last week of December 2005. Soon, I’ll need to wear my pants below my belly and exit my house sideways to make room for my girth. After that, it's plumbers crack and a...